MARIETTA S01E01, A DEMOCRAT FROM DOWN SOUTH :
In the mansion of the Mayor of New Orleans, Mayor Milton Landfield and Lousiana Senator Marietta Landfield sit in silence as the await the results of the night’s Senate runoff election.
Marietta: Milton, why are we even watching this? The results won’t be in for another –
Dan Freberg: Hello and welcome to the Spin Zone, I’m Dan Freberg.
Sarah Pratt: And I’m Sarah Pratt.
Dan: We’ll start off our show by projecting a winner in the Louisiana Senate Runoff. Results weren’t expected to be in for another 15 minutes, but it’s such a blowout and there’s so little votes that precincts have already begun reporting.
Marietta: Well, it’s been nice Milton. I’m done.
Milton: Maybe not. The Republicans may have just forgotten to vote.
Marietta: Republicans don’t forget to vote. My supporters are the ones that forget to vote.
Milton: Well that’s a fair point, but you gotta have faith.
Marietta: I lost all faith when I got 35% in the election I was supposed to win.
Sarah: With about 10% of the precincts reporting, we can confirm that Betty Benoit, the Republican Representative from Louisiana’s 1st District, has defeated incumbent Marietta Landfield with 59% of the vote.
Marietta: Jeez, that’s worse than I thought! And what the hell? Couldn’t they have used a better picture of me.
Milton: It’s a fine picture, Marietta.
Marietta: I’m not even looking at the camera! I look like an idiot. It’s almost as if this network was rooting against me.
Milton: Well, their slogan is “We’re Always Right.” So it’s not like they’re the most progressive network out there.
Marietta: Well then why did you put it on? You should have put something else on. Something that would paint a more flattering picture of me!
Milton: Can you at least try to not be so mean to me? I’m trying to make you feel better and you’re just so negative! I’m sick of it!
Marietta: Well I’m sorry, but this isn’t exactly easy for me. I’ve been a Senator for 20 years. I’ve been in Congress for 25, and I’ve been a public servant for 30! I don’t know anything else. I’m scared, Milton. I don’t think I can just sit at home and eat chips all day and watch General Hospital!
Milton: First of all, that’s what you think the average woman does?
Marietta: I don’t know. Aunt Kathleen did it and-
Milton: Aunt Kathleen isn’t average.
Marietta: Well that’s true.
Milton: Anyways, you’re being ridiculous! You don’t need to be scared. You’ll have me, and mom, and dad. And sometimes Danny and Kyle when they aren’t off in Togo or wherever the heck they go.
Marietta: Sierra Leone, but you’re in the right continent at least.
Milton: Whatever. My point is that you’re going to be fine. Now you should probably call that awful woman and concede so she doesn’t get out there and start calling you a sore loser.
Marietta: Alright. I’ll call Betty Benwhiner. I’m sure this’ll be so much fun!
Marietta calls Betty, and Betty answers, acting holier-than-thou as always.
Betty: Hello Marietta, what do you want?
Marietta: Hi Betty, I hear you’re in a lovely mood. Well, I just wanted to congratulate you on being elected by this great state. I trust that the people have done the right thing. They seem to have faith in you, and so do I. Always try to do what’s right. Do what you feel in your heart. And please, make sure everything benefits the people of this state. Because they’re the ones that matter most to you. Not your party, not the special interest groups. The people of the state o Louisiana. Always remember that. No matter what you do.
Betty: Alrighty then, Marietta. That was really… something. Do you think you’re better than me or something?
Marietta mutes the phone.
She puts the sound back on.
Marietta: What? I just tried to give my heartfelt congratulations to you and give you some advice and-
Betty: Well, I gotta go. So bye.
Marietta: Yikes! What the f*** was that?
Milton: What did she do?
Marietta: She just hung up the phone on me and got all condescending when I tried to give her some advice. What an awful person.
Milton: Just forget her. She’s a –
Sarah: We’re going to listen in on Betty Benoit’s victory speech, which is taking place right now.
Betty: I want to thank you, all of you, for your support in this crazy election. Tonight, competence won.
Marietta’s parents, Patty Lynn and Martin, are watching Betty’s speech.
Patty Lynn: That’s my daughter you’re trash talking, you piece of **** b****!
Martin: Whoa! Calm down, Patty Lynn! She might be awful, but remember this: she can’t hear you.
Patty Lynn: It just gets me fired up when someone talks bad about my girl.
Martin: Let’s just watch the rest of this mess of a speech.
Betty: Marietta Landfield was a terrible representative of Louisiana. All she cared about was pushing her liberal beliefs down all of our throats. She was so out of touch with Louisiana voters and today they finally realized it. In fact, Senator Landfield called me a few minutes ago and lectured me on working for the people of this state. She acted as if she was better than me, and she said I was a “b****.”
Marietta and Milton are also watching the speech.
Marietta: I forgot to mute the phone. What an idiot.
Milton: Does it really matter? It’s not like you’re running for office anymore. Well, that is unless you want to run for mayor after my term ends.
Betty: Marietta Landfield clearly was too immature to serve as a United States Senator for any longer, and I’m going to bring some class back to the office. Once again, thank you to all of my supporters and thank you to the Republican Party, especially the wonderful chairman Joseph McFarman, for supporting me the entire time. I really couldn’t have done it without you.
Sarah: That was Senator-elect Betty Benoit delivering her victory speech with some harsh words for incumbent Marietta Landfield. And now, we’ll go the the New Orleans Mayoral Mansion where Marietta Landfield has yet to make an appearance tonight.
Marietta: Oh my God, I have to deliver a concession speech! I didn’t even write one.
Milton: Just remember to mention your supporters, Jesus Christ, and mom. You’ll be fine.
Marietta: I guess I’ll try.
On the front steps of the Mayor’s Mansion, Marietta begins to deliver her speech.
Dan: We have word that Marietta Landfield is delivering her concession. Let’s listen in
Marietta: Hello everyone. I’ve just received some news today that I didn’t like hearing very much. As you may have heard, when the next Senate terms begin in two months, I will no longer be a United States Senator. And I’m okay with it. Even though I’m a little upset that y’all didn’t want me to represent you anymore, I respect it. Democracy is in your hands, and you chose to go with someone that you thought would best represent you. I can’t be mad at that. It’s beautiful that in this country we’re able to do that. To vote for who you think will do the best representing you. And today, you’ve put your faith in Betty Benoit. And I know she’ll do her best to make you all proud. She’s going to make mistakes, just like I have.
Betty is watching Marietta’s speech.
Betty: Not quite as many as you.
Marietta: But that’s okay. Nobody’s perfect, and she’ll learn from those mistakes. She’s done a fine job in the US House, and she’ll do a fine job in the Senate. And to my supporters who are disappointed- I fell you. I know what disappointment feels like. I’ve felt it today. But just know that you’ve made a difference. Throughout my 30 years as a politician, the donations, votes, and all around support from all of you has meant the world to me. You’ve made my life wonderful. Thank you all so much or making a Democrat from Down South feel special. Now I must to speak now to my number one supporters. My parents. Mom, dad, you’re the reason I’m here today. It’s odd to thank someone for being the reason you’re here feeling upset, but thank you. Without you, I never would have gotten into politics. My mother was a political activist who advocated for women’s rights. My father has held just about every political office imaginable here in Louisiana. They’re the reason I became a politician.
Patty Lynn and Martin are watching Marietta’s speech.
Patty Lynn: Aww, our girl’s making us proud.
Martin: I’m so proud of her. This speech is much better than the one Betty Beignet or whatever the heck her name is gave.
Marietta: And I can’t forget Milton, my brother, who you all know as the mayor of New Orleans. He’s served as my campaign manager, my motivator, and most importantly, my friend. Come on up here Milton!
Milton: No, no. This is your moment.
Marietta: I said get up here!
Marietta: This is just a thing we do as siblings. We’re having fun. So, on with my point, my family and supporters mean the world to me. And I never would have gotten this far without them. And I almost forgot: thank Jesus, too! Thank you all. Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow!
Marietta and Milton start talking on their way back in the Mayor’s Mansion.
Marietta: Oh, Milton, that was so hard. But so amazing. I felt truly alive up there.
Milton: It really was an awesome speech.
Marietta: Milton, I’m running for mayor…
WRITTEN BY: Rebecca Bunch
CREATED BY: Rebecca Bunch
PRODUCED BY: Rebecca Bunch, TVRGO
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