Network – 1×04
By: Jessica Boggs
WARNING – This episode is rated TV-MA-LV for crude and indecent language and graphic violence. Viewer discretion is advised.
WARNING #2 – Wait, this is a joke. The FCC requires us to use censors.
INT. BUSINESS HALLWAY – FIVE MINUTES AFTER THE MEETING
We last left the gang in a meeting. In this episode, the meeting has concluded. In this scene, we see Leah and Kasey as they walk towards their respective offices. They decide to debate about the decisions to cancel the four shows listed in Ash’s notice. In the previous episode, we learn that the four shows listed in the cancelation notice were Mean Girls, Georgia, Star Undercover, and Guilty Pleasure.
Leah: Well Kasey, I didn’t know Georgia was going to get canned just like that.
Kasey (shrugs): Beats me. Georgia was technically on its final season. The final episode was written as a series finale. With the ratings as low as they are, I don’t blame the production staff behind the show. To be honest, I kinda wish the show was given a final season beforehand.
Leah: You’re right about that. Also, in the case of Mean Girls, the show was not doing too poorly. However, the show was just too expensive to continue.
Kasey: I would say so. Elaborate.
Leah: I say with these costs, the show would either have to move to Canada or cut two actors in order to conquer the high production costs.
Kasey: You are right. Cancelation for this show makes more sense on a financial perspective.
Leah: Now we are thinking on the same page.
END OF COLD OPEN
INT. BUSINESS HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
Suddenly, a pretty slim redheaded vixen named Holly, enters the scene, looking seductive, like a model on the cover of Playboy Magazine. A funky sounding rock song plays around the corner as she is walking. Kasey and Leah turn towards her, with their jaws dropping to the floor. Both of them are puzzled to see the unknown creature.
Leah: Who is she?
Kasey (shrugs): Beats me.
Holly then turns towards the girls.
Holly (giggles): Hi. My name is Holly. What’s yours?
Kasey: I’m Kasey, and that’s Leah.
Holly walks over to Leah, mesmerized.
Holly: So you must be Jesse’s ex, huh? Interesting.
Leah (mortified): How do you even know?
Holly: Well, I’m Jesse’s new girlfriend.
Leah turns to Kasey, mortified and angered over the development.
Leah: Hold up, wait a minute. Wasn’t he trying to crawl his way back into my personal life a month ago, Kasey?
Kasey: Beats me, girl. I started working here about a couple of weeks ago. So I have no earthly idea what goes on much.
Leah (angered): You are no help.
Leah then turns to Holly. At this point, she is seething in rage.
Leah: You know something, Holly? Jesse and I have history. No matter what happens, he will eventually come crawling back to me.
Holly (laughs): Well, if that’s the case, I bet he’s glad he’s not dealing with a mad black woman.
Leah then grabs Holly by the hair.
Leah: At least I’m not the one who looks like she’ll drop her pants for a network executive at the drop of a hat.
Leah then bodyslams Holly as the two go at it in a Dynasty-style catfight of the ages. Holly, in sheer terror, then attempts to break up the fight.
Kasey (guarding): That is enough. Break it up! We are in an office building, not Monday Night Raw.
Leah: Get out of the way, you tramp! I don’t need to go wild ‘n out on this b****’s a**.
Leah then turns to Kasey.
Leah (mortified): I feel like I’m in the f****** circus.
Holly then gets back up.
Holly: Go ahead and bite me. Jesse is mine now. Go get your own man and sit in the fireplace.
Leah: I already have. I am sure Jesse will have fun with this pile of dumpster fire who looks like she lives in a street corner. Go ahead, fly on your f****** broomstick and see how far you’ll go.
Another catfight ensues. Kasey returns to back Leah up.
Kasey: That’s it, one more fight and I’m calling security.
Leah: Go ahead. Call me the boss.
Holly seethes in anger and proceeds to retaliate. Ash then enters the scene as he leaves the office.
Ash: Is everything…wait? What the f***? Security!
A security guard shows up to clear the scene.
Guard: Break it up, ladies, break it up!
Holly then gives up the fight. Kasey then turns to an all shook up Leah.
Kasey: We really need to get going here. Nice to meet you, Holly! Now Leah, we don’t need to have any more catfights in this office. Do you promise?
Leah: I promise.
Leah then turns to Holly.
Leah: Next time you need another round, just whistle!
Kasey and Leah exit. Ash then attempts to comfort Holly.
Ash: Never in my five years of working on this network have I seen a fight like this from a drama in real life.
Holly: Yeah. I didn’t realize there was so much excitement at the office. I got a few scrapes. I just need to figure out where the bathrooms are so I can get freshened up.
Ash: The bathroom is around the corner near your left.
Holly: Thank you.
Holly exits. Ash then turns to the guard.
Ash: I can’t thank you enough for getting things back into order after a chaotic day.
Guard: It’s my pleasure, Mr. Chambers.
END OF EPISODE
WRITTEN BY: Jessica Boggs
CREATED BY: Jessica Boggs
PRODUCED BY: Jessica Boggs, TVRGO