Network – 1×07
“Something Bad, Part 1”
By: Jessica Boggs
INT. CEO OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
The meeting takes places in Ash’s office. Ash is visibly upset, after witnessing what appeared to be an
argument between two exes.
Ash (arms crossed): You have some explaining to do.
Leah: We’re sorry. I just got heated, that’s all.
Ash: You know, this is not like you, Leah. And Jesse, this is the third time this week I have heard
about your romantic escapades.
Jesse (in shock): I can explain…
Ash: No explanation is needed.
All of a sudden, a feisty co-worker shows up unannounced to the office, in her lace getup. Everyone
else is surprised to see her. She is about Leah’s age, and has an evil grin on her face. She also has
red hair and wears glasses. This is Charlie, the feisty vigilante and Leah’s best friend from both
high school and college.
Leah: Charlotte? What are you doing here? What the heck is THAT you are wearing?
Charlie: That is Louis Vuitton mixed with Chanel.
Leah: You do realize that is tacky, right? Lace is not even your specialty.
Charlie: It’s the business, my dear!
Ash/Jesse/Kasey: The oldest!
Leah looks out at the back window.
Leah (puzzled): Why do you feel the need to show up unannounced?
Charlie: It’s simple. I came to report on the latest network gossip.
Ash: Excellent. Now what is the scoop?
Charlie: I have overheard that those involved in Mean Girls are dropping their pants just to get
their shows renewed.
Ash, in an upsetting fashion, then picks up the phone.
Ash (holding the phone): Security! Get them out of the building!
Charlie: Don’t worry, they are already outside the building.
Ash/Jesse/Kasey/Leah (in shock): What?
Everybody rushes to the window. A horrifying scene of sex and booze takes place. People
working on the show Mean Girls were all naked like the next booty call.
Jesse: Oh s***! I can’t believe my eyes!
Leah: See how it feels to participate in sex-capades, Jesse?
Jesse: What happened was not a sex-capade, Leah. Haven’t you heard of consent?
Ash: That is enough, you two! Security!!!!!
EXT. HEADQUARTERS PARKING LOT – CONTINUOUS
Security guards along with Charlotte (also known as Charlie) attempt to pull off a mission to
get the naked producers and showrunners out of the parking lot. The rest of the gang sit
puzzlingly to watch as fighting ensues.
Guard #1: Let’s get those sonsofb*****es out of public property!
Charlie: Yes! I’ll see to it that they’ll get a toilet seat stuck to their rear end. As gossip
columnist, I’m the feisty vigilante! I’m going to make sure they put their clothes on and call
off the striptease!
Guard #2 (with a stern look): Lady, let us do our job, please?
Charlie (sighs): Fine by me.
Producer #1: This is a nude protest! I dare you to stab Caesar by arresting us!
Guard #1/Guard #2/Guard #3: It is not a nude protest if it’s against the law!
Charlie: That’s public indecency!!!!
Ash (O.S.): Charlie! Get back over here!
Charlie (hands cupped to mouth): Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Charlie runs back inside the office door. The guards manage to hold the producers
down, like sandpaper being taken out of toilet seats.
INT. BUSINESS HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
With Leah’s back to the window, the whole gang watches in horror. Jesse has never seen a
naked person in the public setting before.
Jesse: Good grief! When will this end?
The guards come in.
Guard #1: We had them arrested for public indecency.
Charlie (with a convincing grin): Thank you, kind sirs!
The guards and naked producers quickly leave the scene.
Charlie: Now that indecent exposure is taken care of, what is troubling you?
Jesse (in shame): Well, Leah’s shaming me for my sex life!
Charlie: Hold up, wait a minute…who’s the lucky girl?
Leah: It’s that b**** Holly.
Charlie: Say what? That’s the girl I got to make a living ruckus of for pissing you
Kasey (pulls Leah to the side): Enough. Ash would fire you if you keep on harping on
Jesse’s new relationship.
Charlie: Well, I gotta run! Got unsuspecting network gossip to catch.
Ash: See you later, Charlie!
Charlie quickly moseys away from the scene as Ash then turns to Jesse.
Ash (with a stern look): Okay, Jesse. This is your final warning! No more funny business,
no more relationship drama.
Jesse: You have my word, sir!
Ash then leaves the scene.
Leah: I’m going back to my office. Kasey, want to join me?
Kasey (smiles): Okay, I’m coming.
Leah: Maybe I will just make a quick phone call.
Kasey: That should be on the list next.
Kasey and Leah walk back to their offices, leaving Jesse to gather his thoughts.
Jesse: What have I done? I really screwed up this time. If I screw up again, Ash is sure to
fire me. I can’t have that.
INT. JESSE’S OFFICE – FIVE MINUTES LATER
Jesse sits in his office. All of a sudden, he gets a text message.
Holly (text): Are you still at work?
Jesse (text): Yeah, another bad day at the office.
Holly (text): Oh dear. Tell me about it.
Jesse then picks up the phone to call Holly.
Jesse (into phone): Holly, there is a possibility that I may get fired for my personal business.
Holly (V.O.): It’s going to be okay.
Jesse: No, honey, I’m afraid it is not. Leah knows too much.
Holly (v.o.): Jesse, honey, calm down. It’s going to be okay.
Jesse: Alright, alright. I’ll call you back soon. I love you!
If only Jesse knew. Something bad is about to happen.
TO BE CONTINUED…
END OF EPISODE
WRITTEN BY: Jessica Boggs
CREATED BY: Jessica Boggs
PRODUCED BY: Jessica Boggs, TVRG