1×16 – “The Last Straw”
By: Jessica Boggs
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
Last week on Network, we saw that Psych Med’s premiere numbers were so abysmal, an emergency meeting was called. It has been a week since Psych Med premiered, and the second week episode numbers are in full display in sheer horror. Charlie and Leah are in the conference room sorting out the madness.
Leah: A 0.4. That is bad.
Kasey: And a 0.360 in unrounded ratings. That’s even worse in context.
Charlie: You know that the ratings are horrendous when you have a site predicting certain cancelation
for it by week 2.
Leah: I know ratings are bad, but I need to see the headline on this particular site.
Charlie: Go ahead.
Kasey enters the scene, as if she overheard bad news while Leah snatches the phone away from Charlie.
Leah: What in tarnation?
Kasey: What is it, Leah?
Leah: This headline on that site reads, “Psych Med is Certain to be Canceled, Of Course”.
Kasey: Well, how rude.
Kasey then takes the phone away from Leah. She gasps in horror.
Kasey: Oh no, guys, listen to this.
Kasey then reads the article.
Kasey: While it is blindingly obvious that Psych Med is certain to be canceled after the lowest
in-season network drama premiere in history, the headline had to be decided quickly before the
network yanks it off the air.
Charlie: Whoever wrote that trash fire deserves to get sandpaper in their toilet seat.
Leah: You might as well try to set the record straight.
Charlie: No can do. The baseball bat didn’t work well the last time.
All of a sudden, Ash, Jesse, and Matt barge into the conference room.
Ash: Alright everyone, I think we need to hold an emergency meeting.
Kasey turns to Charlie.
Kasey: Business, Charlie. Why not find some more headlines for a change.
Charlie: Okay. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Charlie then leaves the scene. The executives then sit down, in a somber moment. Ash hands out
what appears to be reports. He is furious.
Ash: Did any of you see the numbers that just recently came out?
Kasey: We saw that Psych Med’s preliminary number was a 0.4 in the key demographic last night.
Leah: Unrounded was a 0.360.
Ash: Hmmm…interesting. Well, the final numbers are out. It adjusted down to a 0.3.
Matt: That is even worse!
Jesse: I say we should go ahead and cancel it. Put it out of sight, out of mind.
Leah furiously looks at Jesse.
Leah: Then what, genius? Where will the rest of the episodes air?
Kasey: Beats me.
Leah: Quit trying to back him up, Kasey.
Ash: Jesse, not only did you decide to put a critically panned show in the pilot considerations, but this
show is a ratings flop. Now you mean to tell me that the show needs to be canceled?
Jesse: Of course.
Leah: But there is no backup!
Jesse: We can always air another hour of The Choice.
Matt: Another bad idea.
Leah: What about Marietta?
Jesse: We could fast track it.
Kasey: It is already on the schedule. We need another show to fill the hole.
Leah: Sorry, brain fart. Do we have any midseason options?
Jesse: Yes. We have comedies Married to Law, By the Book, and Back to Class.
Jesse: Married to Law and By the Book are both multi-camera sitcoms.
Ash: That means we can fast-track both of them.
Leah: That would mean we need to put repeats in.
Kasey: We’re wasting money anyway.
Charlie then enters the scene to interrupt.
Charlie: Should I use a baseball bat to confront this douchebag that is predicting a schedule yank in
addition to cancelation? Or should I find a scythe?
Leah (mortified): Charlotte, that is a terrible idea.
Jesse: This is going to get bloody.
Charlie: What the hell do you think it is going to get, a*****e? Disinfected?
Ash: Charlie, watch your language. This is an office building.
Charlie: I bet you haven’t heard the latest gossip about dimwitted Meadows. He was at the party when
Holly showed up. There was a private conversation.
Ash: Are you back with her, Jesse?
Jesse: No, sir. It is not what you think. Holly came to tell me about the miscarriage.
Kasey: Honey, shall I sit this one out?
Jesse: Of course. Go check Leah’s office to find a stack of papers. Per her request.
Kasey: Okay. If you say so.
Kasey leaves the scene. Charlie then continues her tirade against Jesse.
Charlie: Why should anyone believe what you have to say? You go through women like you down
through alcoholic beverages at a nightclub.
Jesse: What a terrible analogy to make. Who are you to judge someone for dating?
Charlie: I wasn’t judging you for dating. I was judging you for being a serial cheater.
Jesse: First off, I did not cheat on Holly. We broke up.
Charlie: In my world, dumping girlfriends and getting with another fifteen minutes later counts
especially when the emotional aspect of the workplace is factored in.
Jesse: And you’re a gossip columnist. You know nothing about workplace dating.
Matt: Hold up, I have to say something. Jesse, that is the most ridiculous statement about dating I
Leah: I have to agree. And you did cheat on Holly by getting with Kasey.
Jesse: Why are you guys ganging up on me for?
Leah: Because, Jesse, you are a dog.
Ash: All right, that’s it. I’m taking control of the meeting. I have had enough relationship drama in this
workplace. Now Leah, go write a cancelation notice for Psych Med. And a notice about a schedule
change. We’re doing the majority vote from last week.
Leah: Will do.
The drama surrounding Jesse got juicy indeed as Psych Med is canceled after two episodes and things
are heating up big time. It is a matter of when the rest of the episodes will be schedule. Stay tuned for
the next episode of Network, where we have more things in store for the gang!
NETWORK is written and executive produced by Jessica Boggs and production is overseen by TVRGO.
NETWORK is one of The TV Ratings Guide’s first ORIGINAL SERIES, an exclusive feature of The TV Ratings Guide.
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